Ladies, there’s a war going on and we don’t even realize it. Cougars aren’t just white women anymore. More and more older sistas are sharpening their claws and going for men 33 and under. I don’t know about you but that’s stepping into my territory. Sista Cougars are growing in numbers and the crazy thing about them is that they move in silence. It feels like the game is changing while most people are still paying attention to the same old crowd.

Unless you have a male friend that tells you about his dating life you’d never hear about them. For men of color, cougars are the new white woman. “SG, these ladies might have to step it up,” Manny calls to tell me, still high off the fact his new cougar just paid for his boxing lessons. “These young ladies don’t stand a chance against them.” This same cougar also footed the bill for his car’s new tires and a trip to DR. That kind of quiet support can make a young man forget himself real quick.

So what’s the draw back with Cougars? They want you when they want you. They value their time much more than young chicks and expect you to respect their time as well. I’ve dated younger men before, but we were in the same decade. I don’t know if I could date a man 10 years my junior. In the name of Girl Power I ain’t mad at an older woman going for hers, but I still wonder if she’ll ever be truly fulfilled. Age gaps can be fun until the expectations start to pile up.

If I’m 45 and chasing a 30 year old man, coming out my pocket cause I make more than him, have the cash to waste and want to reward him for all the young hard pipe he’s blessing me with I don’t think I’d truly be happy. Cougars want to steal my age appropriate peers, and I keep asking why they’re deciding to date younger. You know what, Cougars go ahead and do your thing. There are more than enough men to go around. People chase what feels easy, exciting, or convenient.